Saint Frances Cabrini Parish

Father Kleppner - July 30, 2006
Sometimes people don’t understand why a particular priest may have to refuse giving someone an eligibility letter to be a sponsor for Baptism or Confirmation. Very often the priests motives are misjudged. The following question and answer from Father Bober’s column in a past Pittsburgh Catholic will hopefully shed some light on this sensitive issue. Please note that the vast majority of priests would want to help reconcile people with the Church and bring them back to the practice of their faith.
QUESTION:
How about these priests who are driving people out of the Church by the way they embarrass and harass them. These are good people who are just trying to get some kind of form to be able to stand for a child at Baptism or Confirmation? I would like to hear you try to defend these priests.
ANSWER:
While no one can defend anyone’s “driving people out of the Church,” there really is another side to the situation you describe.
How about these parents who place their relatives and friends in embarrassing situations by asking them to be sacramental sponsors, knowing full well that they are no longer practicing their faith, nor living a life in keeping with the Gospel?
How about the audacity of people walking into a parish center to demand a sponsor certificate, knowing full well that they have not been (nor do they intend to be) active in the Catholic Church?
How about the boldness of people demanding a paper indicating that they are fit to be godparents for Baptism when their own children are of school age and not yet baptized (much less attending religious instruction of any kind)?
How about people demanding a sponsor certificate proclaiming their eligibility to act in that capacity when they are living with someone (even parenting children) without any attempt or even inquiry about a sacramental marriage in the Church?
How about people – who have had nothing to do with the parish for several years – now demanding a paper enabling them to be sacramental sponsors?
Who are we kidding here? Generally it is not the priests who are driving people away over these papers for sponsorship. Many of those people simply walked away from the Church years ago and now, despite years of inactivity and no real desire to return, nonetheless want to be officially declared stalwart Catholics fully eligible to act as sacramental sponsors.
What are priests expected to do? Do parents really want us to lie for their prospective sponsors? The paper the priest and the intended sponsor are asked to sign saying that they are registered members of a parish, living a life in keeping with the Gospel, and suitable to act as sponsors. Membership in a Catholic parish certainly implies active participation or at least an attempt to do so. Life in keeping with the Gospel certainly implies at least a desire to participate in the sacramental life of the Church and a genuine effort to do so.
Admittedly, some parents will say: “How was I supposed to know that they were not practicing Catholics?” Well, honestly, why would you ask them to be a sponsor without knowing that?
Contrary to what some people might think or say, most priests are more than willing to speak with anyone who sincerely wants to make a change in their lives. Often, such a frank discussion with an intended sponsor can work wonders and people can be genuinely brought back to the practice of their faith. Often enough, they admit they needed just that encouragement to make an important decision about their faith.
But, frankly, most priests are also hurt and angered by people who want them to lie about membership or practice of the faith. One of the facts of Catholic life today is that people are making a choice about how active they will be in a Catholic parish and with sacramental life. When that choice is inactivity, then they will have to learn to live with the consequences. One such consequence is a priest’s inability to give them a sponsor certificate that testifies to something which is not true.

A Pennsylvania Charitable Trust

115 Trinity Drive
Center Twp., Aliquippa, PA 15001 724-775-6363 Phone
724-775-3848 Fax

www.sfcabriniparish.org