Father Kleppner - May 3, 2009A Blended FamilyActs 4: 8-12; Ps 118; 1 John 3: 1-2; John 10:11-18When my brother was born, when I was 5, my world became decidedly different. No longer was I the center of my parents’ universe. No longer were my needs and my desires foremost. On the contrary, this little person who came into our lives changed everything. As it became clear to me that he was here to stay, and with the help of patient, loving parents, I eventually learned that there was love enough to go around and it could actually be enjoyable to have the companionship of a sibling. Blended families face similar adjustments. When divorce or death claims a spouse and the remaining spouse remarries, a new family is born. Included in this new family are children from one or both of their first households. Many of these blended families are comprised of children who are sometimes described as “yours,” “mine” and “ours”. Inevitable tensions arise as differing household styles and rules and traditions collide and conflict-solving becomes part of life. Similar conflicts threatened the unity of the early church as it began to realize itself as a blended family, drawn together by a shared faith in Jesus. There were the Jews, to whom Jesus first extended the gift of salvation. Some welcomed the gift, others did not, and the resulting tensions caused divisions. Nevertheless, and as the speech of Peter reveals in today’s first reading (Acts), the early believers in Jesus continued to invite all of the Jewish people to accept the messiahship of Jesus. Also included in the blended family of the church were all those non-Jews who were traditionally regarded as beyond the pale of God’s saving concerns. As shepherd and savior of all people, the Johannine Jesus (Gospel) acknowledged their belonging and his desire to be their pastor and protector, ”I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. These also I must lead and they will hear my voice.” In the same breath, Jesus spoke of laying down his life and taking it up again. He has done so for all God’s sheep and every member of the human community without regard for their ethnicity, age, gender or worthiness. Jesus envisioned the blended family for which he gave his life as “one flock with one shepherd.” Through the centuries, believers in Jesus have alternately run toward and away from the realization of his vision. At times, that running has slowed to a limp due to the wounds that have been inflicted by estrangement, rejection, misunderstanding, ignorance, distrust and even hatred. During these weeks of the Easter season when we as a community take our annual journey to our roots, perhaps it is also the time to look at what we have grown into – a multiplicity of flocks, each claiming to hold the prerogative on the truth and on authenticity. While all claim to believe in Jesus, this belief does not always translate into the mutual caring and acceptance of one another that Jesus desired for his own. In order to move closer to the vision of one flock and one shepherd that Jesus sets before us today, we might benefit from some of the advice offered to blended families by expert counselors. One source of advice suggests that common sense is one of our best allies in relationships. Treat one another with kindness, patience and respect. Choose to accentuate and build upon points of unity. Respect and learn about one another’s differences, seeing these as assets rather that deterrents to unity. Be open with feelings and fears; talk through rather than ignore conflicts. Above all else, cultivate an altruism that values and reverences the other and, when feelings are hurt and relationships are wounded, don’t withhold forgiveness. Be the first to try to make amends and reach out to the other with healing in your heart and hands. If nuclear families can benefit from these words of advice, cannot the family of believers in Jesus do likewise? In today’s second reading, the Johannine epistolary writer assures us that we have the equipment to do so. We are, all of us without exception, God’s beloved children. Because of the love God has for each of us, we are thereby empowered to love others as God loves us. This love, if we dare to believe in it and access its power, can truly transform even the most disparate and dysfunctional group of people into a family, blended together in faith and sustained by that love that originates in God.
Patricia Sánchez holds a master's degree in literature and religion of the Bible from a joint degree program at Columbia University and Union Theological Seminary in New York. |
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