Father Kleppner - November 1, 2009
As we remember our beloved dead this
Monday on All Souls Day, I share with you
this very powerful reflection by Ken Maafe on the
importance of praying for our deceased loved ones.
Praying for our faithful departed on All Souls Day
lets us rest in peace, too
In a perfect world a baby is born into a loving family
and is cared for from childhood through
adolescence and into adulthood. In a perfect world
this person has fulfilling work and caring family and
friends. In a perfect world that person moves into
old age gracefully and dies surrounded by loved
ones. Those left behind, though burdened by loss,
are consoled by the fact that their relationship with
the deceased was free of any discord. In a perfect
world no loving word is left unsaid, no loving act left
undone. All is harmonious – even in death – in a
perfect world.
But of course we do not live in a perfect world. For
every death I’ve witnessed where the deceased
was surrounded by love, I’ve encountered just as
many in which the person died alone, wounded by
past hurts, unreconciled with family members.
I once spent time with a man who lost his wife of
many years. Theirs was a difficult marriage, marked
by significant conflict. After his wife died, guilt and
remorse wracked the man. He kept asking himself,
“Why wasn’t I more loving?” “Why didn’t I give in
more often?” “Why couldn’t I demonstrate how
much I needed her?” Why, why, why? So much
unfinished business, so many missed opportunities.
One lesson we can take is that life is short and we
should take advantage of every opportunity we
have to give and receive love. Of course, scripture
tells us that, as does just about every self-help
book. Grief support groups are a godsend for some.
They offer help and support for many to process
their grief and move beyond anger and guilt.
But the terrible unfinished business of our imperfect
world also has a spiritual dimension, and so the
church gives us the celebration of All Souls. In our
tradition one of the most important things we do is
pray for the dead. It is one of the spiritual works of
mercy. Why do it? To assist them in the move from
this life to the next. To help them as their sin and
corruption is burned away in the encounter with
perfect love that we call purgatory. To remind
ourselves that even in death we remain connected
with those who have gone before us.
Praying for the dead can help them and help us.
Our celebration of All Souls is not some morbid
fascination with death. It is, rather, a resounding
affirmation that in Christ, there is no unfinished
business.
This is not to say that we are free to do as we
please, because God is going to make it all right in
the end anyway. No, the Lord challenges us to do
all we can in this life to give and receive love. Jesus
suffered and died for us so that we can enjoy the
fruits of reconciliation and right relationship in this
life. But he also knows that we are sinners. Our
fear and pride sometimes cause us to rupture even
our closest relationships. Sometimes death comes
before we have the opportunity to sort it out and be
reconciled. We walk around with lots of baggage,
lots of unfinished business.
But for all that, we stand in the vision of Isaiah: “The
Lord of host will destroy death forever. The Lord
God will wipe away the tears from all faces, the
reproach of his people he will remove.” It’s not we
who will do it.
Grief groups are good as far as they go. Remorse
that leads us to change is a positive thing. But
ultimately it is God who destroys death, God who
wipes away our tears, alleviates our remorse, and
forgives our guilt. In God there is no unfinished
business.
And so we pray for the dead on All Souls. And we
pray for ourselves. We pray that the promises of
Christ will be fulfilled and that we and all those we
loved, even if imperfectly, will be raised to life with
him. Everything reconciled, no unfinished business,
a perfect world, eternal life in Jesus Christ.
| 